Reminder To Future Self

When you read this, you might have read it for a number of times. As you grow older, you will certainly come across this post, and I will be glad if you read it over and over again. This is a mere reminder, an admonition.

By looking at me now ( I mean us), I fear you are not that fit to become a Winner. Your nonchalance gives you quite a trouble, or might I say handful. You could not escape from being infected with the youth disease, procrastinating. I assume it is very hard for you to become a committed person in whatever you are doing. I feel sad for you. I really am.

By every semester, your grades exacerbate your CGPA. Every semester is an acid test for you; you have hard times telling your exam results to mom and dad. I know you just want to make them happy that you just want to tell the good news. They have high hopes on you. I can see that from their eyes and words. You are their brilliant son who will excel in every test that he sits. Your calming words nurture their hope, but I am afraid Time will reveal to them how weak you are. You are weak my friend. Stop giving excuses. Stop looking a problem as if it's somebody's fault.

You must change for good.
Please help yourself.
Please help us.
Please help me.
Please.
Put Allah as your priority, and He will put you as His.

Wedding

Some eyes were looking at me with all fierceness as if derived by the intention of murder. I could not but to stare back at them with a nonchalant gaze. Some friends posed blunt and probing questions, and I ridiculed them straight away in their faces.

I am glad.

what am i???

Please get out of my dreams.
Git.
Go away.

Coretan

Apis kata dia teringin nak tengok aku jadi wakil UIA.
Aku terkedu. Apis sangat menghargai bakat yang ada pada aku.
Hati kecil aku sangat tersentuh dengan harapan yang mungkin tidak tergapai itu.
Main futsal pun kaki aku masih terketar-ketar menahan pedih, ini kan pula main bola.
Aku tidak tahu menahu akan perihal skru yang ditanam dalam lutut aku 10 bulan yang lepas.
MRI tiada. Apa pun tiada.
Lutut aku sakit lagi. Aku rasa prospek untuk aku kembali beraksi makin menipis.
Tiap-tiap petang aku cuma buat fisio di bilik.
Ramai kawan yang ajak main. tapi aku menolak.
fisio sangat bosan dan menjelikkan. setiap kali aku angkat pemberat di kaki, setiap kali itu jugalah tahap kebosanan aku semakin melonjak.
aku jemu hidup dalam persekitaran yang tiada cabaran.
aku mahu bergasak dalam padang sampai aku berkeringat puas macam dulu.
dah lama aku tak berlari. dah lama aku tak menggelecek. dah lama aku tak rasa gagah dan perkasa.
kadang-kadang aku rasa seperti aku berseorangan dalam menempuh dugaan ini. namun aku tahu Allah sentiasa ada untuk aku. Allah akan sentiasa mencurahkan cinta-Nya kepada aku. Allah Maha Adil.

                                                                               Allah akan selamatkan aku.

Blogwan Di Bawah Yang Aku Senaraikan Bukan Aku

Aku bukan blogwan
yang bisa mencanting kata
seindah pelangi

Aku bukan blogwan
yang memahat duka
di dinding sepi

Aku bukan blogwan
yang mencatat sakit
di pinggir malam

Aku bukan blogwan
yang hilang perlahan
dalam keramaian.


hening pagi
persona: blogwan tak tegar
setting: gloomy weather

Control room

I am in the control room
and alone with Alone
confined in the strictest silence

on my left,
a door but could not I escape

and on my right another,
but could not I escape from there too

these electronic buttons have made me a robot

i am controlled
in the control room.