Hey, guess what? It's my birthday.

Well, how time flies.

I'm already 22 years and 8 hours old at this very moment.

A lot of thanks for my mom and dad who have been the best parentsfor all this while. Not to forget other educators who contribute to my upbringing. I promise myself to not to become an ungrateful piece of shit for all of you. 

In Shaa Allah.

p/s: birthday presents, anyone?

Selamat Tinggal

Selamat tinggal kuman,
Selamat tinggal jalan,
selamat tinggal debu,
selamat tinggal lembu
selamat tinggal cacing,
selamat tinggal kucing,
selamat tinggal ayam,
selamat tinggal pondok tempat menganyam,
selamat tinggal anjing,
selamat tinggal gambar di dinding,
selamat tinggal dapur,
selamat tinggal siling kapur,
selamat tinggal kerusi dan meja,
selamat tinggal jarum peniti dan reja,
selamat tinggal cermin,
selamat tinggal botol-botol dan tin,
selamat tinggal buku,
selamat tinggal bangku,
selamat tinggal sikat,
selamat tinggal pacat,
selamat tinggal petai,
selamat tinggal pantai,
selamat tinggal bukit,
selamat tinggal langit,
selamat tinggal katil,
selamat tinggal mata kail,
selamat tinggal kereta,
selamat tinggal cacing pita,
selamat tinggal bantal busuk,
selamat tinggal nasi dagang dan keropok,
selamat tinggal penyu,
selamat tinggal Yu,
selamat tinggal pakcik,
selamat tinggal makcik,
selamat tinggal bayang,

selamat tinggal adik abang,

selamat tinggal kak,
selamat tinggal mak,
selamat tinggal bapak,
selamat tinggal semua,
selamat tinggal CINTA.

#berlepas

Lelaki Misteri

Kebelakangan ini, aku sering sahaja didatangi oleh seorang pemuda dalam tidurku. Tidak ku kenal siapakah gerangannya; dia berkaca mata empat segi, tona warna kulitnya agak cerah, dan parasnya ada sedikit kebaratan. Aku tahu ini bukan mimpi normal; ini paranormal. Bukannya setakat hadir dalam mimpiku kerap kali, yang lagi anehnya makhluk itu sering merenungku dengan pandangan yang tajam dan penuh dengan kebencian dan kesumat yang telah lama tersimpul dan menunggu masa untuk diuraikan. Aku tak takut mahupun gerun, walhal aku terasa seperti mahu membelasahnya sampai lunyai. Aku cukup tak gemar kalau orang pandang aku macam aku ini syaitan.

Paras itu tidak pernah aku nampak, masakan lagi pernah aku sapa mahupun bersahabat. Bagai nak pecah kepala aku menjana logik kepada hal ini. Jus-jus otak ibarat mahu kering didera kontemplasi. Ia lah. Masakan tidak. Orang yang tidak pernah aku tahu wujud atau kenal secara tiba-tiba sahaja masuk menceroboh ke alam lenaku dan merenungku jijik tak tentu pasal. Siapakah dia ini sebenarnya? Syaitan kah, atau malaikat kah? Atau ini salah satu bentuk sihir? Nauzubillah. Aku cuba bertanya siapakah dia. Siapa kau? "Nama aku...." Mimpi aneh ini seringkali berakhir dengan begitu sahaja. Ya. Makhluk misteri itu hanya sempat menuturkan dua patah perkataan: Nama aku.

Aku tahu ini bukan mimpi biasa. Ini mungkin satu petunjuk, atau bahkan mungkin satu amaran kepadaku.  Wallahu a'lam.

Things I Suck At

1. Not being lazy
2. Not being recalcitrant
3. Writing
4. Relationships
5. Sleeping heavily
6. Cooking
7. Updating blog
8. Tweet
9. Self-critic
10. Self-introspection
11. Teaching
12. Being invisible
13. Procrastinate
14. Watching movie with a bunch of loud friends
15. Song composing

You, Me, and Hospital

I shall document history. A selected event of my life. An epiphany.  

17/1/2013

today is thursday.a bunch of staffs come to me to check my condition.everything is done;they check on my symptoms,my calf diameter and scribble on my legs for measurements.pain is felt at times when the doctors twist my right knee.i am flummoxed with all the medical jargons that keep bombarding my ears.i comprehend some of the terms used by those doctors and trainers,and some are unprecedented.

18/1/2013

today i will undergo the first surgery ever in my life.i couldnt sleep last night,thinking about the pain that i will bear after the surgery.the pain looks too much,reflected from this other patient's face.he has experienced it, and he knows very well how the wrath feels like.he says he's been crying all day the first day his knee got operated.i cannot imagine the pain.thus, in every precious second left, i think i should conceptualize beforehand how will the pain embody in my knee as it might reduce the pain because i have expected its coming earlier, i guess.

the atmosphere in my room,occupied by 6 patients including me, is soaked with anxiety and worry.the future is really terrifying.sometimes, it feels like living in the present is just sufficient for us.but then again,man cannot evolve just by dwelling in the present,he must explore and morphosize into something else to fit in the future.in conclusion,i must undergo the operation ,feel the pain,recover, and become normal again.

19/1/2013

the pain has been very torturous since this morning.i sleep in pain and i dream of pain!the worst thing to tell is, i feel like hell when a nurse pull out the urinating tube from my genital.that could be the worst pain ever felt in my life.

21/12013

the unbearable torment has finally vanished after i do several sets of exercises that are taught by dr arsyad.he is a specialist in sports injury.his cool temperament cools off my tension.his face looks very expert.i gradually learn to walk with my walking sticks and it is really tiring actually.some co-patients have been discharged and i am glad to see their happy faces.i have made friends here.being in hospital is not that bad.as if