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Tuesday, 21 February 2012

Menanti Sebuah Katarsis

                Tragedi yang menimpaku kira- kira dua tahun yang sudah masih lagi segar dalam benakku. Lutut kananku merakam duka yang telah berkali-kali cuba aku padam namun apakan daya, bekas terjahan maut dari sisi itu tidak mampu untuk hilang dalam sekelip mata.


                 Dendam? Tidak. Aku langsung tidak menaruh sebarang kesumat terhadap sesiapa atas apa yang berlaku, walau sekelumit. Bukannya mahu dihambur pujian, tetapi aku percaya membiarkan dendam bersarang dalam lubuk kalbu merupakan satu pilihan salah yang mungkin meracun imanku.


                Sesekali ada juga bertandang amarah membakar emosiku. Dari mana datangnya, aku pun tak tahu. Mungkin dari sakitnya pedih yang aku rasai, atau mungkin sakit itu datangnya dari hati? Ah. Jangan difikir dalam-dalam. Makin celaru aku jadinya nanti. Persoalan bila lutut aku akan pulih merejam- rejam mindaku yang buntu tanpa kepastian. Aku tak mahu jadi cacat sampai mati. Aku kepingin benar untuk melangkah masuk ke padang dengan zat dan bentukku yang semutlak- mutlaknya, dengan kudrat dan kemampuanku semaksimumnya diolah dan diterjemahkan menjadi satu maha karya, kalau boleh dan diizinkan.

             
              Bola sepak merupakan hidupku. Bagi orang lain, benda itu tidak lebih daripada sebiji bola bodoh yang disepak- sepak. Jadi mungkin pada pemahaman mereka, kes seorang manusia dewasa yang tidak mampu untuk bermain bola hanya satu perbincangan yang trivial dan kecil. Ya. Kecil bagi mereka, tapi tidak pada aku. Bola kecil yang bodoh tu kandung makna satu dunia untuk aku. Aku membesar dengan bola sepak, dan aku nak terus tua dengan bola sepak.


                Si Lutut Kanan masih lagi tidak menampakkan tanda- tanda untuk keluar dari zon rehat yang panjang, malah bertambah teruk. Pedihnya makin pekat. Salah aku juga. Terlebih guna. Kini, aku ke kelas setiap hari terhincut- hincut. Rutin harian makin sukar tanpa sebelah kaki yang sempurna. Aku mengecap perepeteia dan anagnorisis yang dianugerahkan oleh Tuhan dengan hati yang lapang dan terbuka. Sambil itu, aku tertanya- tanya bila agaknya katarsis untuk tragedi ini akan datang menjelma.  Bila ya?





Sunday, 12 February 2012

If I Were A Ninja

I’ve been admiring men in suits and costumes, especially the ones which usually appear in animes and superhero movies or even super sentais  - say it Spider-Man, Batman, Kamen Rider and many more to be named.


 To tell you the truth, I’m just so caught up, attracted, amazed, amused, mesmerized, astonished, vaccinated with characters whose outfits are designed to be equipped with masks and armours. Every moment seeing a superhero costumes or the likes will always dose me with undescribed enthralment.  It is most likely that I got this enthusiasm from my father, who is quite into ninjas.


Ninja, obviously, is from Japan. I have always been fantasizing what it would be like to be a ninja since I was a child; learning to master special uncanny jutsus, equipped with cool gadgets and weapons(kunai and shuriken), as well as the awing fighting techniques.


If I were a ninja, there are several things that I wish I can do. Firstly, it would be delightful to move as fast as lightning without anyone noticing. You see, there’s a lot that can be done when you have the ability to move fast; you can win in any race, you shall be entitled the speed demon in your football team, chasing an escaping thief, or somewhat represent your country in the internationals. How fun it could be when you have the power of speed spinning within your legs.


If I were a ninja, I think I should also consider holding a professional personnel security business. It’s quite easy. Someone shall hire me for his security within a stipulated period, and covering an accorded task. I think this kind of job can give me a living, though I have to face death every time I’m at work. Despite the challenges I might encounter, it should be fun—taking out the bad guys, saving some civilians as well as stabbing some rogues straight through their ribs.


If I were a ninja, I will cheat in exams, yeah, I know, you will do the same thing. Possessing special chameleon jutsu, access to the teacher’s or lecturer’s office will not be a problem. Without any doubt, I shall copy or take a look at the answers beforehand. Clone jutsu is a suitable technique to pass with flying colours.


If I were a ninja, I would like to use any jutsu that can send me flying high in the sky. I always crave to bathe in the sea of puffy clouds, and at the same time savour the moment of looking down to all people on the earth below.


If I were a ninja....ah, forget it. As if it’s gonna happen.



Friday, 10 February 2012

As Sweet as Football

Great. Just great. The football league is just around the corner and I can’t help myself struggling with injury. My right knee’s been called again to the injury list. Merely weeks before the start of my schooling in KL, I was playing futsal with my friends and that’s when the old wound bled again. I went to the masseur whose service had always been the one I looked for. I got some wires tangled in there, the result after conducting some majestic footwork. haha. 

The bones too, are swollen. I hardly moved in that period of fresh injury. I tried to hide it from my parents at first, but the cat was out of the bag as soon as a cousin who paid us a visit noticed about my strange catwalk. I was scolded by my mom, but never mind, I am used to it.


Talking about the football league, I sense a pinch of remorse in me. Had I ignored my friend’s invitation to play on that fateful night, I must have been able to go on training with my teammates every evening starting from the opening of the new semester. The team captain told me his plan to put me up front as striker pairing with some other guy whom I just knew from the previous semester. 


But then again, man proposes God disposes. I could hardly sprint amidst the pitch; or worse I would even not able to dribble pass the opponents, and, not to mention-the worst case scenario that might happen- I can’t shoot accurately and with power given the condition of my right knee. Scoring goals is the job of a striker after all. Our team is not really abound with players who take the role as strikers. So, for the time being, I can say I am one of the top dogs in our team.


Tapi tu lah, lutut aku sakit. Macam mane aku nak main. Oh Tuhan, sembuhkanlah lututku dan berikan aku peluang untuk menikmati manisnya bola sepak, sekali lagi. Amin.