I
was startled by her decision to lash out those painful and icy-cold words.
She’s not her anymore. And she’s not here too. She whom I knew and thought as
someone who was really kind has obviously gone to somewhere else so alienated
even she could not recognize herself anymore. That girl in front of me at that
moment was not Jenny. She’s the embodiment of her accumulated hatred and disdain
towards me which I presumed have coagulated at the bottom of her heart for so
long. Should I see this kind of predicament coming earlier, I would have fled
away from our malfunctioning relationship. Falling in love with her was not a
good decision at all, but still I perpetuated confessing and expressing my
vulnerable emotion towards her despite the signs; after several on-and-offs.
I
met Jenny two years ago, a polite and smart girl who seemed to be every man’s
dream girl, when I accidentally stumbled upon her in front of the library in
the college. When I first saw her, my eyeballs could not initiate even the
slightest degree of movement away from her. She was like an angel who descended
from the heavens; her smiling eyes were calming, her wavy shiny black hair, her
nose, they were all perfect.
But
now, considering the current condition, I feel nothing but emptiness. Void. It
is void that is filling the emptiness. Well, everything started to change when
Jenny got enrolled into one of the famous colleges in the country. Even though
she kept denying the fact that she was not her old self anymore, but I always
looked at her as different person. Her new friends had given her significant
negative transformation to her life. I don’t like the way she talks now, the
way she rolls her eyes when we pass by some guys by the streets, the way she
loves me, the way she cares about me. She’s being extremely intolerant and
egoistic with her own helluva of ideologies which dramatically contradict my
principles. In short, I don’t love her anymore.
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