Words

words are tough to be understood,  to be deciphered

‘cause they are ambiguous , idiosyncratic, filtered

pick a word, and tell me what it means to you

‘cause a word is full of disguises, trickeries, new

a single word is just enough to fill a lonely bosom

with hopes and trust in early blossoms

a single word, in the end, is more than enough,

to corner a heart, intimidated, bluffed

well when you were going to say a word

make it crystal clear as a word                     

since we human do not share the same lexicon

different as they are, since we were born.

MAAFKAN AKU

Verily, in this age, I, for one, do not suit to be a Finder-of-my-Another-Half. I’ve been there, but acted like a daft. She was someone special behind my back. It was 2008 when we were in the verge of Spm back then, when I began chatting with her in YM. Ever since, we kept chatting and texting each other, and eventually I fell in love with her. Maybe she did the same, but a bit later I guess.

She’s a beauty queen, yeah, in her prime I have to admit. Everybody seemed to like her, and loved her. That girl was famous in our school; she’s smart (her marks were always higher than me), all the teachers favoured her and a large bunch of juniors were always talking about her. None of these features resemble me; I’m just an average Joe, far from being a brainy student who would be praised, glorified, or even loved by everybody for his intelligence and genius. I’m thin (yeah, I know, that’s not a big deal). I heard stories about me which kinda gave me gist of what I am in the school for the girls back then: A NERD. Actually, it’s no biggie to address me as a nerd. At least I scored goals for our football team in some tournaments, and it was me who brought the team up to the quarter.

She did great in science and math, but not me. i don’t know where actually gone wrong in my study considering that I was once regarded as a top-notch kid in primary. I was not doing well in the last few years.

There were a few who knew about our budding love, and I felt slightly twisted and bashful about it. Well, there were times where some friends questioned about us, and that’s when my heart tore apart. “Layak ke kau dgn die?” “I think he’s better for her, not you”. Yes. I know goddamnits. I’m not the smart type. I’m just neutral. I’m just a super-normal boy who lives down the street and minds his own business.

Some times passed. My Spm result sucked. I flunked and funked. On the other hand, hers was great and compliments-inviting. My feeling mixed. Should I feel sad or should I feel happy? I chose to smile even though I didn’t get the ‘crowd- fencing-me-for-excellent-results’ like she and some other friends did. Comparing her result with mine, it was ‘bagai langit dengan bumi’. I was about to burst into tears but some bitter smiles from the colleagues who knew my pain calmed me.

Some years passed. She’s still the same she, doing excellent in academic and participated in many activities. That is when she made friends with some boys and i got jealous. i’m sorry. i can’t take out the green-eyed monster in me. seriously, it was eating me from the inside. i’m not pointing the accusing fingers to her. maybe it’s just me who felt so wrong and threatened about that. also, she carved some achievements in her study and co curricular programmes. eventually, she made her way to a practical training(intern) in a big company, while I was still grasping for gravity. i don’t know how should i react and how should i feel. I really despise the situation where my future wife holds a higher position and higher salary than me. I really hate it when my future wife is an extra outgoing person who will talk to everybody.

So, not wanting to love-sacrifice myself, i made up my mind and tell her the truth. i don’t want to mess up my mind thinking about how should i live with her in the future. to whom it may concern, if you are reading this, please know that I’m a new person who just thinks about his career life, his family, and getting away from being inferior towards you. i want to live a happy and blessed life. I hope you will find a nice guy who will love and cherish you every day, not like me. I don’t love you anymore. Trust me, it is all just about me, myself and I. I AM SORRY.

Young Guns

It’s not always wrong to be a gun

Since it’s not meant for mere fun

A mean means to get the job done

Just enough to end an exile on the run

Young guns are bulletful of words

That might gonna sprinkle anytime onwards

Driving away some cowards

Freaking out a handful of bastards

Call them whatever you want;

Pistol, revolver, or magnum

They are still the same, one of a kind

Young guns who should save their bullets for the hard times.

A Knight, A Princess, A Dragon

Oh dear princess was robbed from above the sky

‘swoosh’ descended a dragon and  took her sky-high

 flown to the lair, hidden, far far away, never nigh

so this is where a tall tale started to fly by

Came a loyal knight with a shining blade

striding with velocity ,armour-clad

“I’ll redeem the princess”, to the poignant king he said

and leaving the kingdom, off to a journey he’d never had

He’s that a flamboyant dragoon

riding along the way of the stars and the moon

forth faring his game passing through beasts and typhoon

he believed he’ll get there soon

Dragon’s lair chanced on the top of the mountain, breathless

so where did the dragon hide, and where’s the princess?

the knight sought around the furnace

and found the princess lying restless

The coming of the dragon was foreseen

splashes of fire erupted from its spleen

overwhelmed by the will to win

he stabbed draco dead in the chin

Oh dear princess came blithely in her gown

landing a kiss on his cheek except a frown

"I’d rather be in the dragon’s fire meltdown

than being kissed by the Fire of the Downtown".

How Do I Make My Way

How do you make your way

Through the blazing sun

Down the deathly ravines

Beyond the enemy lines?

                                 

How do you make your way

Passing the obnoxiuos deserts

Taking in dirty daunting dirts

Feigning winds and blizzards?

How do you make your way

Shoving doubtful grunts aside

Up way through without being mortified

Wait for no man, time and tide

How do I make my way?

Well I say

I’d forge a piece of Dream

In the burning fire of Passion

When my Sword of Fortitude is prepared

I shall set forth to the battleground of Fate.

To Laugh or Not to Laugh

Hi. 

been busy and do not have so much time to leave my post in this blog. anyways, i’m not gonna talk on something interesting nor boring today. this topic’s just neutral. to laugh or not to laugh. 

why do human laugh? why do we laugh? it’s hard and it’s subjective to explain what do human actually have in their body mechanism that makes them laugh, apart from the conventional understanding that laughter are triggered by the psychological activities in our mind. scientists were close to reaching the answer that creates laughter in physical angle when they found out humerus bone when being poked or tickled, it channels the sensation of laughing to the brain and voila-laughter. In fact the word humorous actually originated from the word humerus.

But im not gonna give a lecture on science.it’s ridiculous. well i’ve got some free time so I think posting something in this newborn blog would kill some time. not much I can tell about laughter, but laughter is not a small matter. i’ve been looking the action of laughing by people in quite critical angles.

I don’t get it when someone has to force himself to laugh all the time because of certain situations which actually do not have any funny or bone-tingling elements in it without taking a few minutes to relax his exhausted cheek muscles. i strongly believe that this type of people are having ulterior motives hidden behind their mask of laughter. they laugh to attain something. they laugh to exhibit something. they laugh in the outside, but the truth is no vigorous activity of being amused by a joke occurs internally. they are just pretending. get it...?

. . . . . . .

ok la.tell you the real story la. I always meet people who always laugh non-stop in the class, trying effortlessly to crack a joke in front of everyone so they may laugh, but seriously it always ended up that the joker-wannabe fails to give the best show. well, the annoying part is, they would try again and again to win the attention from the ‘audience’. i bet they’re are doing this for some agenda:

1- driven by the overwhelming feeling to be famous among the classmates and lecturers.

2- the need to appear funny and cool in front of some males/ females

3- the psychological urge to be favoured by teachers and lecturers, to be teacher’s pet.

You see, these are some causes that I found which make some people to draw all the energy to laugh out of their asses. They seem to be really in need of serious attention and acknowledgment from the people around them. I have to say I hate this kind of people. i should have. their unnecessary actions always drove me a lil bit distracted in the class. i’ll blame them if my grades are not good enough. they are a real pain in the neck. what say you?i say ....KITE BAKOR JE!!!!!!!!